Posted 1 day ago


quality tweet inspired by all this, thanks stiffy

Posted 2 days ago


Hello ladies, gentleman, third-gendered people, non-gendered people, inside-out people, and all points in-between.

I know I promised to be finished with my short story collect, Other Gods, in April, but it seems that date was, once again, a little too ambitious. I’m trying to make the best book…

Posted 2 days ago







Maggie remembers the war.

This calls for a #DogsOfCracked cute-off. Briscoe says take this:

And Christina H’s pooch Frobolome enters the rumble…

This is Stormageddon “Craig” Harrison, and he likes to party. 


All you motherfuckers brought “sweet” to a Cute Fight.

That was taken after a trip to the dog park, which we take EVERY SINGLE MORNING, even when I’m hungover, which is LOTS. He plays with his dog-friends and if no one else is there, we do WIND SPRINTS to keep us both SHARP. I am Dog Mom Supreme.

Neutrino wonders at the disproportionate number of non-cats among Cracked writers’ pets. I mean we’re meant to be working on the internet.

Biscuit agrees, and he doesn’t even know what the hell an “internet” is.

Posted 3 days ago

I think I broke Harry Potter


So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.

When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you…

Karl Smallwood says what we’re all thinking.

Posted 1 week ago


It’s true. This game is bananas as shit. Also, it’s recently been re-released on Steam and and well worth your pecuniary resources.



It’s true. This game is bananas as shit. Also, it’s recently been re-released on Steam and and well worth your pecuniary resources.

Posted 1 week ago


Hello friends. I have two quests for you. The first is simple: Vote for Mental Floss in the People’s Choice Webbys!

The second is to subscribe to Apex Magazine (or beg others to do so) so they can feature a fourth story every issue!

Do this in remembrance of me. (I totally cribbed that from Jesus.)

Posted 1 week ago


continued clarifications

Reblogging so I always have this handy. Always.

Posted 1 week ago



A glitch in the matrix is an experience that proves something isn’t right in the world or sometimes your brain. 

Here are some creepy experiences that are supposedly true as reported by these users. 


by reddit user 3clipse

I knew my uncle had died.

My mom had called me and told me the news. It was very sad. She told me in the middle of work and I told one of my coworkers. He expressed his condolences on my loss.

A couple weeks later, my sister mentioned my aunt and uncle doing something. I said “but…he’s dead.” And my sister said no, he wasn’t.

I called my mom. No, he wasn’t dead.

To this day I’m still not sure how much of it my brain imagined and how much was real. Did I really talk to my coworker? Was I even on the phone with my mom at all that day?

It still freaks me out knowing that my mind could fabricate so complete and real a memory like that.


by reddit user WittyRepost

Several years ago I woke up in bed next to my (now ex) girlfriend and we had a conversation in fluent French. I got up and got in the shower, and as the water started running I realized, neither of us spoke French. When I got out I asked her about it. She remembered it happening but was as confused as I was. I can’t even remember what we talked about because I don’t fucking speak French. Brains are weird.


by reddit user Joevual

My dad has epilepsy and says that he’ll experience this when he doesn’t take his meds. Sort of like a fugue state. He went to Aspen on a business trip to design a ski lodge and he forgot his meds at home. He was supposed to do a big presentation but he never showed up. His coworkers looked for him for hours until they finally found him walking down the highway in the snow, 8 miles from their hotel. Apparently he had completely forgot who he was, where he was, and why he was there. He figured if he just started walking he could piece things together and figure things out. He snapped out of it when he saw the familiar faces of his coworkers.


by reddit user A_lot_of_italics

One day I was walking to work and all of a sudden had an urge to walk a different path than usual. I work downtown in a big city. It was a strange spur of the moment urge to walk a different way that changed my life forever.

I turned into an alley I had never seen before. As I remember it, I made it about fifteen feet or so when an actual “glitch” happened. Everything in my mind scrambled. I felt like I didn’t have a body anymore, just that I was a semi-conscious entity floating through some weird dimension. All of a sudden in the array of different colors and shapes a vision came to me. It was a bunch of strange looking people that in my mind resembled businessmen in suits. They looked startled and panicked that I could see them. One of the “people” made a quick movement and everything turned to black.

When I regained normality, I was on a completely different street. It was the same street that I always use to walk to work. I felt sick, and severely disturbed/depressed.

I’ve never done any hard drugs, never experienced any hallucinations, never have had anything like this happen to me. The weird thing is, when the glitch was correcting itself and I could see those “people” watching me like a caged animal I had the feeling that I knew I was being controlled. It still bothers me very much to this day.


by reddit user pistacchio

When I was like 10 or 11 I was going to the beach with my aunt and her friends. There were two cars of us. To get there we had to go through a very large industrial area. We didn’t know the direction, so our car was following the other. Suddenly, they did an unexpected turn and so our driver had to take a sharp bend.

In that moment we heard a very clear, loud voice inside the car saying laughing “Sharp bend, hm?!”. The driver immediately hit the brakes. We looked at each other, puzzled: we all recognized it as a voice not belonging to any of us.

In the very same time, we noticed that the other car has stopped as well. The other driver got out of the car with a scared face and shouted to us: “Did… did you hear that as well?”.

They heard the very same thing inside their car. The area around was full deserted.


by reddit user 47attemptslater

When I was a teenager I had two really intense dreams one night. The first one was about an online friend of mine calling me to say she’d broken up with her boyfriend, and I sang a few lines of Seal’s “Don’t Cry” to her over the phone. The second dream was finding a (real life) friend dead body floating in her bathtub.

I didn’t think anything of it up until I logged online that evening and the online friend came online to tell me her boyfriend broke up with her. I immediately asked if I could call her, and she said no. I remember thinking that it meant something, like I could change it. Not long after, my phone rang, and it was Real Life friend from the dream calling me. I was completely freaked at this point, but talked to her normally… she was just talking about school and shit… up until I realized I heard a splash in the background. I asked her, “Are you in the tub?” and when she said yes I felt like my heart had stopped. I asked her, “What did you do?”. She didn’t answer me right away, and then after a very long pause she told me she’d taken an entire bottle of pills and chased it with mushrooms and vodka. She’d gotten scared waiting for it to hit her… so she called me so she’d hear someone’s voice. I hung up and called 911. By the time they got there she was unconscious, but alive. Today she’s a mom to a beautiful little girl, and she’s ok.


by reddit user mbalsevich

Was monkeying on the hand rails of a balcony on the 4th floor of my building and fell off, as 2 of my buddies watched in horror.

I remember seeing the concrete floor approaching as I fell head first and thinking “oh fuck - I’m going to break my wrist” (Why my wrist? dunno)

Next recollection is seeing my buddies yelling, from up there, “Are you OK!? ARE YOU OK!?”.

I look up, I say: “What happened?”.

They did not see my actually hit the floor, they just ran outside and saw me already standing looking up.

Not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing hurted. I don’t remember hitting the floor, standing up, nothing. No memories exist for those 1 or 2 seconds.

None of us 3 ever understood what happened. But we all saw it and agree on what happened.


by reddit user ClassicJenny

About 15 years ago my friends parents, Steve and Julie, were woken up at 1am to a very loud THUD that rattled the house. Worried that one of the kids had fallen out of the bunk bed Steve went downstairs to check on them but all three kids were sound asleep and safe in their beds. Julie told Steve to check the house in case of intruders so Steve checked the doors and windows before going outside to take a look.

After ten minutes of investigating the noise Steve came across nothing unusual and went back inside to go to bed. He found his wife absolutely worried sick and she demanded to know where the hell he had gone and what happened. Confused and tired Steve told her he found nothing and tried to calm her down before Julie pointed out that it was now 4am and that he had been missing for 3 hours. Julie had even gone outside to check on him and he was nowhere to be found and didn’t respond to her calling his name. Unable to figure out what happened they returned to bed and slept until Steve had to get up for work in a few hours.

Steve owns a painting business and a couple hours after working on a house he noticed his eyes started to feel itchy, then his eyes started to burn, then after a couple hours his eyes burned so badly that he was holding his eyelids open as to not blink because it felt like his lids were sandpaper against his eyes. His employees rushed him to the hospital and Steve was treated for second degree flash burns on his eyes. He was told his burns were equivalent to staring at a welders torch without eye protection for an extended period of time. His eyes were treated and he was lucky to have his vision fully restored.


So that’s all I got for now. You can view the full thread here

So do any of you have experiences like this? A glitch in the system experience?

Make a post and tag “sixpenceee”! I would love to read them and will be reblogging the ones that really make me go “woah”

Was literally stuck on this thread for a good hour or two.

I got one. I used to work the night shift at a video store (remember those?), and for a few weeks I had a few fugues. There were two really memorable incidents.

The first time it happened, I came home from work. We closed at midnight, so I got home at about 1:00 a.m. I pulled into my driveway, turned off my car, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed about 12 hours later. I walked up the stairs to the loft above my mom’s garage where I lived, climbed into bed (or something?), and went to sleep. I didn’t feel rested at all. It felt like it was literally one second to the next.

That’s not all that weird, of course. I was probably super-tired and did some kind of weird sleepwalk, right?

The next time it happened was a few weeks later. I came home from work at 11:00 p.m. because I hadn’t closed that night. I had rented a movie from work (one of the perks there was free rentals) and popped it in. By the time it was over, I checked my watch and it said 5:00 a.m. I forget the movie, but it definitely wasn’t six hours long. I got off the couch and checked my beside table clock and it also said 5:00 a.m. I turned on my computer, checked the clock on my phone, everything I could think of, and they all said 5:00 a.m.

I sat back down on the couch, freaking out that I kept having lost time. I checked my watch again. Now it said 1:00 a.m. I checked all of my clocks again. 1:00 a.m. There were no other oddities with the clocks that night and I haven’t had trouble with fugues or lost time since.

Possible explanations: I imagined the whole thing, I was dreaming, or time slipped four hours forward, then righted itself. It was way strange.

Posted 3 weeks ago

If anyone is hunting Pokemon for Google Maps’ April Fools Day thing, I accidentally found one by Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. (I’m here on vacation and just happened to notice it.)

Posted 3 weeks ago

I got my first royalty statement, and if I’m reading it correctly, I sold 3,506 books from publication (July 2013) to the end of last year. That’s not bad for a nobody like me!