Posted 1 month ago



My TV screwed up with the show titles like

imagehow can you screw up this bad

imageI dont even know what its suppossed to say



imagemy personal favorite



imagelook its my favorite super hero the chicken Spider-Man

imagehow do you even screw up this badly????

imagelike how even

imageorphan black???????

im crying

Nothing about “room of the Apes” or “Journal & Furious”?

Posted 1 month ago

Dexter Machete Order: Season 1, season 2, season 4, season 6, pretend it got canceled after that.

Posted 1 month ago



Oh look it’s my friends image


Okay, so I wrote this status as a joke two years ago and then posted it on Twitter. A few days later someone blurred out my face and posted it on Reddit, since that day it has been shared, reblogged, tweeted and liked, hundreds of thousands of times. 

I have lost out on literally millions of people seeing my name attached to this thing and as a result I’ve lost out on thousands of potential followers across the various social media accounts I maintain. 

This probably wouldn’t piss me off as much if I didn’t write for a living. I pay my rent and feed myself with the money I earn writing stuff like this and this and this and everything on this website. And on a lot of those sites being able to make a few thousand people aware of a new post is like having a fucking superpower.

I know it’s just a stupid joke, but it’s really disheartening as a writer to see this thing getting hundreds of thousands of views everytime some random asshole “finds” it and shares it online because it’s just one of hundreds of other things I’ve written and to be honest, I don’t even think it was that funny. 

If you really want to share this image, at least share the version I originally posted so that if someone thinks it’s funny, they can at least see who I am and check out the other things I write

(Source: iraffiruse)

Posted 1 month ago

Let’s not mince words: the Men’s Rights Movement is a hate group


Every since Friday’s shooting, in which 22-year-old Elliot Rodger killed three people in his apartment and six more on the street, I’ve been reading about the “Men’s Rights Movement” more closely than I ever had before. Perhaps I was naive, but I really didn’t expect them to have so much in common with the Aryan Nation.

Like two days ago I interviewed a former white supremacist for an article, and he explained the technique they used to indoctrinate people: there’s the “bait and switch,” where they promise that they’re a “white pride” movement but then spend all their time talking shit about the “other” that they hate. There’s the “appeal to conspiracy”, where they explain that there is a truth that no one else knows that you are now privy to. There’s the promise of exceptions: “All black people are n*****s, except Rodney, I work with him, he’s cool.” The scary thing about these kinds of movements is that they appeal to broken, scared, lonely people: the guy described his younger self as scared, lonely, hating himself.

All that shit applies to r/redpill, one of the subreddits devoted to men’s rights activism.

Read More

Posted 2 months ago


31 Awesome Movies Made by Mashing Up Bad Ones

This is the best because Howard even kind of looks like Emilio Esteves.

Posted 2 months ago
  1. (FM = offbrandmusic, anjldust = me)
  2. - FM: [my cousin Ethan] just quoted Home Alone at me
  3. - anjldust: tell him he's a filthy animal
  4. - FM: he said "BUZZ YOUR DOWNLOAD, WOOF"
  5. - anjldust: man, Buzz doesn't have to put up with that shit from a punk bitch like Kevin
  6. - FM: lol
  7. - anjldust: all he has to do is sic that monster spider on him, give him a swirlie, and call it a day
  8. - FM: go eat a snack and look at some porn while he calls his girlfriend
  9. - anjldust: he does have porn
  10. - anjldust: and a girlfriend
  11. - anjldust: what's Kevin got? his ass left behind
  12. - anjldust: and frankly, I bet Buzz's girlfriend fucks
  13. - FM: lol
  14. - anjldust: I mean look at her
  15. - FM: probably
  16. - FM: a stud like him?
  17. - anjldust: Buzz is the true hero of Home Alone
  18. - FM: he knew what Kevin needed...a couple of days in the real world
  19. - anjldust: what he needed was a punch in the arm and a good noogie
Posted 2 months ago


I made this video because surely I’m not the only person who thinks Santa in the Holiday World commercials is creepy.

This is what I do with my spare time, apparently.

Posted 3 months ago


quality tweet inspired by all this, thanks stiffy

Posted 3 months ago


Hello ladies, gentleman, third-gendered people, non-gendered people, inside-out people, and all points in-between.

I know I promised to be finished with my short story collect, Other Gods, in April, but it seems that date was, once again, a little too ambitious. I’m trying to make the best book…

Posted 3 months ago







Maggie remembers the war.

This calls for a #DogsOfCracked cute-off. Briscoe says take this:

And Christina H’s pooch Frobolome enters the rumble…

This is Stormageddon “Craig” Harrison, and he likes to party. 


All you motherfuckers brought “sweet” to a Cute Fight.

That was taken after a trip to the dog park, which we take EVERY SINGLE MORNING, even when I’m hungover, which is LOTS. He plays with his dog-friends and if no one else is there, we do WIND SPRINTS to keep us both SHARP. I am Dog Mom Supreme.

Neutrino wonders at the disproportionate number of non-cats among Cracked writers’ pets. I mean we’re meant to be working on the internet.

Biscuit agrees, and he doesn’t even know what the hell an “internet” is.